Journey To Freedom?: June 2014

Ok, I have been away since I have been so pissed at starving and not losing any weight! As of June 10th I decided to get help since apparently I have no clue how to do this alone. So we will start back up with June 10th and my journey on the HcG diet.

Day 01 Monday, June 09th, 2014

Went to see Dr Griffith at New Health and Anti-Aging Clinic.

Got weighed, measured, etc and told that I cannot exercise for the next week and will exercise very little on this diet Yea! I was also told that I needed to restrict my water intake!

And then told to eat all of the fats and sugars that I could eat for the next two days and that the diet would start on day 3! Yea again!!!

IF ANYONE DECIDES TO GO TO DR. GRIFFITH AND TRY THIS DIET THAT IS SO WONDERFUL PLEASE TELL HIM THAT I REFERRED YOU TO HIM!!!
I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT!!!!

Day 02 Tuesday, June 10th, 2014

Poured a 24 oz glass of ice water to sip on throughout the day

06:50 Woke up
06:52 Urinated
06:54 Recorded weight 301.6
06:55 Took Injection
08:20 8 oz Coffee
08:20 Took Pills
10:42 Ate Orange 5 oz 65 calories I wasn’t hungry, but I was cruising the cupboards.
2:11 Lunch 3 oz chicken 93 calories 8 oz cucumbers 24 calories =117 total for day 182
5:18 One slice of thin crust meat pizza. Good thing still a load day J
6:15 Dinner 4 oz of KC Strip Steak ½ cup mac n cheese with broccoli
7:30 Shared a Diet Pepsi at the movies

Day 03 Wednesday, June 11th, 2014

Poured a 24 oz glass of ice water to sip on throughout the day06:30 Woke Up
06:45 Urinated
06:46 Recorded weight 299.4 Down 2.2 lbs
06:48 Took Injection
08:55 8 oz Hot Green Tea
08:55 Took pills
11:37 Ate 6 3/8 oz Apple 96 calories Not hungry. Slight headache but only if I pay attention to it.
2:33 Lunch 3 oz Chicken 93 calories Celery 8 oz 32 calories 125 calories total 221 calories
5:40 Strawberries 11 oz 99 calories total 325 calories
No dinner. It was too close to bedtime to eat and I was not hungry.

Day 04 Thursday, June 12th, 2014

Poured a 24 oz glass of ice water to sip on throughout the day06:50 Woke Up
06:52 Urinated
06:54 Recorded weight 296.2 Down 5.4 lbs
06:58 Took Injection
07:28 8 oz Hot Green Tea
10:22 Ate Apple 6 1/8 oz 93 calories Feeling good.
12:30 Lunch 3 oz Shrimp/ lemon 90 calories Celery 8 oz 32 calories total 122 calories
3:45 Ate 8 ¾ oz Apple 137 calories total 259 calories Have lots of energy. Need to burn it off.
4:30 Worked out 30 minutes on treadmill Heart rate avg 134 high 146 in target 20 minutes.
7:40 Dinner 6 oz Romaine lettuce 30 calories 3 oz chicken 93 calories ½ tsp lemon juice total 382 c
Added 2 tsp of Walden Farms salad dressing 0 fat, carbs, calories, sodium
Still had 12 oz of water left over

Woke up with a leg cramp. Forgot to add potassium in my pills. Now added.

Day 05 Friday, June 13th, 2014

Poured a 24 oz glass of ice water to sip on throughout the day

06:30 Woke Up
06:45 Urinated
06:54 Recorded weight 294.2 Down 7.4 lbs
06:58 Took Injection
07:42 Took pills
07:43 Green Tea 8 oz
10:22 Ate Apple 6 3/8 oz 96 calories
2:00 Lunch Shrimp 3 oz 90 Calories Cucumber 12 oz 36 calories 126 calories total 222 calories
Missed late snack. Out mowing.
8:30 Dinner 3 1/8 oz chicken 97 calories Celery 8 oz 32 calories total 351 calories

Came in from mowing after a 1.5 hr and a second 2 hr mow job and was feeling nausea and dizzzy.
Could be partly due to the sun since I also got sunburnt.

Day 06 Saturday, June 14th, 2014

Poured a 24 oz glass of ice water to sip on throughout the day
05:00 Woke up with cramp in left thigh
07:00 Woke Up
07:17 Urinated
07:18 Recorded weight 292.2 Down 9.4 lbs
07:19 Took Injection
11:53 Took pills
11:54 Ate Apple 6 oz 90 calories
I am not eating my lunch or late afternoon snack since I have been invited to dinner at my boyfriends sons house for his early Fathers Day present. I will not be able to weigh and measure my food so this will be my first test on portion control.

6:30 Had a filet mignon that was very small. I guess under 6 oz, maybe closer to 4 and nothing else. I am so proud of myself. So I know that I am at or under my 500 calories for the day. Did not get my 32 oz of water in.

Day 07 Sunday, June 15th, 2014

08:10 Woke Up
08:25 Urinated
08:28 Recorded weight 290.0 Down 11.6 lbs
08:29 Took Injection
Skipped my morning cup of coffee to get shopping done.
At Sams I accidentally took a bite of a sauage that Steve handed me as a sample.
1:51 Lunch Chicken 3 oz 93 calories Celery 8 oz 32 Calories 125 total calories 8 oz water
6:42 Strawberries 11 oz 99 calories total 224 calories 8 oz water
Too late to wait and have dinner so missed dinner

Day 08 Monday, June 16th, 2014

Poured a 24 oz glass of ice water to sip on throughout the day

06:35 Woke Up
06:45 Urinated
06:47 Recorded weight 289.4 Down 12.2 lb
06:48 Took Body measurements. Waist, hip and thigh down total 3 ¼ inches belly same
07:05 Took Injection
07:40 8 oz coffee
11:28 Took pills
11:28 Orange 7 Oz 91 Calories
12:20 Could not take it anymore. Took enema. Small results. Hardly worth mentioning.

1:46 Called Doctor and told him about unable to eat the whole 500 calories and the cramps so we are going to get a blood chemistry in the morning to see if anything is happening and not to worry if I cannot get all of my calories in.

Never ate anymore food today. I was upset and unable to eat. I was sick to my stomach over the man that I live with taking up and arranging to meet with a woman that he had an affair with back when he was married 35 years ago. I ended up cleaning the whole house. Did not even get my water in today.

Had 8 oz left over in my cup.

Day 09 Tuesday, June 17th, 2014

Poured a 24 oz glass of ice water to sip on throughout the day

06:35 Woke Up
06:45 Urinated
06:47 Recorded weight 287.2 Down 14.4 lb
07:05 Took Injection
7:24 8 oz Coffee
8:00 Left house to drop car off for some work ad ran errands with my daughter.
10:30 Only had a few minutes to get out of the house so grabbed and baggie of bits and pieces of apples and oranges that weighed with baggie 3 ¼ oz so calories were very low. 25 calories
Back on the road and just got home at 3:00.
3:00 Shrimp 3 oz 90 calories 8 3/4 oz cucumbers 27 calories total 52 calories.. Not hungry at all and have desire to even be eating this.
Still no desire to eat so having a Naval Orange 8 ¾ oz 113 calories total 165 calories
I am an emotional mess right now and am unable to eat or drink. I will try to force myself since I don’t want this to hamper my diet. Only got my 8 oz of coffee and 2 oz of water in for my liquids. My mug shows I have 22 oz of water in it.

Day 10 Wednesday, June 18th, 2014

Poured a 24 oz glass of ice water to sip on throughout the day

06:35 Woke Up
06:45 Urinated
06:47 Recorded weight 286.0 Down 15.6 lb
06:50 Took Injection
07:24 8 oz Coffee
09:22 Did 15 Minute DVD Workout
11:39 9 1/8 oz apple, got sick eating it and put 6 ¾ oz back in baggie 55 calories
2:45 Shrimp 3 oz 90 calories 3 oz cabbage 21 calories ¼ tsp lemon 111 calories total 166 calories
It is 4:02 and I am still working on my lunch. I ate the Shrimp, but could not get the cabbage down. Put is back in the ice box until dinner time. My nerves are totally shot!!!

I never came back to eat anything. I am still unable to eat do to my nerves. Drank only 10 oz of water.

DO NOT READ THIS RANT IF YOU OFFEND EASILY.

Here is my daily rant and the biggest one of all that has made it so that I am unable to eat or sleep. I just sent this to the man that I love and am currently living with.

You know that I love you and that I will do just about anything for you and I have proved it over and over again to you as you pushed me harder and harder by throwing whatever you could that you knew would hurt me and break me down and I have survived them all, because like Al said, I am a survivor and my love and faith in you has held me strong, but if the goal was to break me you have started to the process.

If getting pussy at your age is more important to you than having someone at your side that loves you, is loyal to you, is dedicated to you, who stands by your side and backs you whether you are right or wrong, who helps you live your dream to stay at a property that you love, who reminds you of appointments, who helps you in traffic when you don't see that obstacle, who wakes you up as you start to fall asleep behind the wheel, who gives you the validation that you want and need, who sits besides you at a hospital bed, who cleans, launders, etc. who enjoys golfing and dominoes with you, who screws you and does whatever degenerative thing that you think of, who laughs and cries with you, who shares dreams with you, who makes you your breakfast and dinner, who packs your lunch, who willing gave up her family for you, who gets up in the night to let the dogs out, who bathes your dogs, who helps you with the yard work, who helps you with the shopping list and the shopping so you don't go without, who makes sure you take your pills, who rubs your back and butt to help you sleep, who rubs your feet when they hurt, who looks up any information and gets back to you with the answers to save you from having to do it, who rubs your legs after you have a cramp in them, who runs items to your work when you forget them, who gets up and fetches you your beer, chips, or whatever you ask for so that you don't have to get up, then so be it

If getting some pussy is more important to you than having all of the above things that I do for you, then so be it. There is nothing more I can say or do.

I could handle you being an alcoholic but I don't think I can handle you being a sex addict, especially at your age. I knew what you were and I wasn't trying to change you because stupid me thought that you would outgrow it on your own as you got older, but that does not seem to be the case. I am almost sorry I brought your dick back from the dead which gave you vitality and some of your youth back. Since it looks like my helping you regain something you thought you lost forever, never to enjoy again, was the beginning of my demise.

I have started packing a few of my things to get them out of your house to help lighten the load for when that day comes because it saddens me to say that it looks like it may be sooner than later. I have asked for help and everything will be out of the barn within two weeks, except for the Jag, when Morgan has a day off to help me. I do not guarantee a deadline for the house since that will be us just taking it and our life's one day at a time, I will be leaving my grasshopper, pictures, downstairs furniture and tables behind and would like a statement from you saying that I have not abandoned them, but am storing them with you for the time being. This way we can continue using it as long as I am remaining in your house.

I do love you with every fiber in my body and more, and pray that things can turn around with Gods help, but I just can no longer keep holding my breath waiting for that day to come. It seems to me that pussy is stronger than prayer, love, hope and faith in your mind and I have nothing I can fight it with since love and respect for me seems to mean nothing.

K

His Response:

After reading your email I am extremely sad. In the course of your communication, you described me as basically a degenerative based sex addict, alcoholic, and someone incapable of appreciating you and/or what you do for me. I guess I'm sort of at a loss for words. After reading what you just wrote I bet your wondering why you've stayed with me this long? I know that I am wondering.

It sounds like you've about made up your mind to move on? So, I had to ask myself how I felt about that and frankly I admit that it would make me sad to see you leave. I have grown to appreciate the many things you do, not only for me but also with me. You are 'one crazy woman' for sure.

Do you know that it sometimes depresses me to not be able to love you and you say that you love me. Love is a fickle thing...for sure. I don't pretend to understand the in's and out's of love, nor whether I'll ever be in love again. It really seems like the harder you try to earn my love the more resistive I become.

I want to thank you for being with me this long and allowing me to continue to live here and enjoy the peaceful wonders of country living. I enjoy your company and sometimes think that the best times are those when we're just sitting around the house, relaxing, regardless of what we are actually doing.

Truthfully, I never thought I would get as close to you as I have and do have some regrets about things not progressing further. I even feel bad about writing this because I know it's not what you want to hear and it will undoubtedly upset you, I apologize for that. I have never liked upsetting you but it's all I've ever seemed to be good at.

You are welcome to stay if you like but if you choose otherwise I want you to know that I will be disappointed and miss you very much. Whether you believe me or not I think a lot of you and appreciate those many things you listed as helping me with.

Perhaps we can talk more later if you are not too upset but I know how you get and I'd prefer waiting until you calm down before we converse. I'm not looking for a fight or argument.

I have no way of obtaining boxes here at work. I am not insisting on you getting things out either so let's talk before you make up your mind okay?

RANT OVER FOR NOW

Day 11 Thursday, June 19th, 2014

06:35 Woke Up
06:38 Urinated
06:40 Recorded weight 284.6 Down 17.0 lb
06:45 Took Injection
07:00 8 oz of coffee

10:52 Apple 6 7/8 oz 100 calories
2:53 Turkey ground 2 oz 120 calories total 220 calories
7:50 Turkey ground 2 oz 120 calories total 340 calories
Again did not get my water in and it is such a small amount to begin with so I should make it!
My nerves are starting to calm down. I am continuing to pack up some of my things since he has not said that he is not going to see her, let alone screw her for “old times sake”. So I am still apprehensive, but a bit calmer as I try to focus on other things.

Day 12 Friday, June 20th, 2014

06:45 Woke Up
06:50 Urinated
06:53 Recorded weight 284.0 Down 17.6 lb
06:59 Took Injection
07:20 8 oz cup of coffee
09:30 First round of mowing 6 acres
11:15 Apple 6 oz 90 calories
Weight loss is going much slower now. My ketone sticks still show moderate. I understand that a plateau usually shows up around day 14. Hoping that I am the exception J
I am able to eat today without getting sick and I attribute this to my nerves calming down a bit.
1:24 Still mowing. Time for another break. Light headed, dizzy. Sun bearing down.
3:12 Lunch 2 oz Turkey 120 calories 2 ½ oz cucumber 8 calories = 128 total 218 calories
3:30 Back out to mow and got it done at 4:25 All 6 acres are done! And I am pooped!
4:28 Orange 8 0z 104 calories total 322 calories
6:45 Ground Turkey 2 oz 120 calories 3 oz broccoli 30 calories 150 calories total 368 calories.

Passing lots of air. Thank goodness there is no smell lol

Day 13 Saturday, June 21st, 2014

06:45 Woke Up
06:50 Urinated
06:53 Recorded weight 282.6 Down 19.0 lb
07:17 Took Injection

07:20 8 oz cup of coffee
09:30 First round of mowing 6 acres
11:15 Apple 6 oz 90 calories

Don’t feel like coffee or tea this morning so just going to sip my water.
10:15 Apple 6 oz 90 calories
Had dr appt at 1.
03:15 Ate Turkey 2 oz 120 calories in car on way to birthday party.
Left party and went to hospital to visit.
7:18 Turkey 2 oz 120 calories celery 7 oz 28 calories 148 calories total 358 calories

Day 14 Sunday, June 22nd, 2014

06:45 Woke Up
7:10 Urinated
06:53 Recorded weight 282.4 Down 19.2 lb Smallest weight loss to date -.2
07:15 Took Injection
10:30 8 oz coffee Orange 8 oz 104 calories
1:30 Lunch 2 oz Turkey 120 calories 2 oz Zucchini 10 calories cal 130 total 234 calories
5:00 Dinner 2 ¼ oz chicken 80 calories total 314 calories
9:00 & 10:00 Hungry feeling ate 2 oranges 214 calories total 528 calories

Day 15 Monday, June 23rd, 2014

06:35 Woke Up
06:40 Urinated
06:42 Recorded weight 281.8 Down 19.8 lb Losing is slowing down
06:50 Took Injection
07:30 8 oz coffee
10:06 Orange 7 ½ 0z 97.5 calories
2:11 Lunch 3 oz Chicken 93 calories 5 oz celery 20 calories 113 calories total 210.5 calories
Was not hungry for dinner.

I have forgotten my pills the following two days and that may have caused the slowed down weight loss. I took my pills today and we will see if that has anything to do with it or not.

Day 16 Tuesday, June 24th, 2014

06:00 Woke Up
06:05 Urinated
06:42 Recorded weight 280.8 Down 20.8 lb Taking my pills is helping with loss I believe, back to 1 lb.
06:50 Took Injection
07:30 8 oz coffee
Left house at 8 am to get to a 9 am appt and then to dr appt at 11:30. Home at 1 pm. Not hungry. Don’t want to eat.
2:05 Apple 5 7/8 oz 90 calories
4:45 Was going to have lunch but was not hungry so I had an orange and forgot what it weighed in order to calculate my calories <sigh>
7:00 Biked for 30 minutes and 2.7 miles distance. I am beat and sucking wind!!!

Day 17 Wednesday, June 25th, 2014

04:30 Woke Up Had to get up early to make him his breakfast and pack his lunch. Work hours changed for today only.
04:35 Urinated
04:40 8 oz coffee
Went back to bed after getting him out the door at 6:00
8 – 9 He called and woke me up so we talked on the phone for an hour.
9:00 Recorded weight 280.2 Down 21.4 lb. Was hoping for a better loss since I about died on the bike working out L
09:10 Took Injection
09:15 Apple 5 ¾ oz 90 calories
11:36 Haven’t taken pills yet. Lunch Chicken 3 oz 93 calories Celery 7 oz 28 calories 121 calories
2:15 Orange 5 oz 65 calories still hungry going to eat a second orange 8 oz 104 total
8:00 Chicken 3 oz 93 calories total 473 calories

Day 18 Thursday, June 26th, 2014

06:35 Woke Up
06:37 Urinated
06:40 Recorded weight. 280.4 UP .2 Why did I gain? No cheating?? Did not take my pills yesterday.
06:45 Took injection
Guess today will be an apple day to see if I can jump start this back into losing. I am paying to lose weight at a fast pace, not a .2 or a gain! I have taken my pills this morning.
An apple day is eating six apples in a 24 hour period from lunch to lunch and only water. It shoulld show a 2 lb loss tomorrow.We will see....
Not weighing the apples. They are all small and I don't have the time to core each one. I must say that I have gotten real good at eyeballing food as to the portion size it should be which is great for helping me to continue in the future not gaining this weight back. I am getting too old to do this yo-yo dieting.
Had an apple at 10, 12, 2:30, 7:30, 9:30. Only got 5 apples in. Was out mowing.

Day 19 Friday, June 27th, 2014

06:00 Woke Up
06:02 Urinated
06:05 Recorded weight. 279.8
07:18 Took injection
07:22 8 oz coffee

10:00 Exercise for Seniors came on TV so I got up and did it for about 5 mins.
11:00 Orange 8 ¼ oz 107 calories
2:00 Lunch 10 oz Romaine lettuce 50 calories Chicken 6 oz 186 calories total 236 total 343 calories
added some Walden Farms zero everything 1000 Island dressing
7:00 Hamburger 2 ½ oz 95 calories Zucchini 2 oz 10 calories 105 calories total 448

Day 20 Saturday, June 28th, 2014

06:00 Woke Up
06:02 Urinated
06:05 Recorded weight. 279.8 No loss. Another apple day today. Constipated.
07:18 Took injection
10:00 Apple 1 Large bm. Weighed after the large bm and was 279 even.
12:00 Apple 2
We went to the movies and I ended up with my first cheat. Buttered popcorn and a diet pepsi. I took the pills the doctor gave me for a cheat meal. I had a large bm at the theather.
At movies from 12 to 4
Blew the diet and had my very first cheat at the movies. I took the two pills that the doctor gave me in case I cheated to counter act the cheat. I went to the movies and shared a large extra buttered popcorn and large Diet Pepsi. I guess I have lost my taste buds for buttered popcorn because I thought it was stale and didn't taste right. My BF said it was fine and that it was me. My stomach cramped real bad that I had to leave the movie and visit the ladies room. Still lost weight but I was 279 even before the cheat.
6:50 Apple 3
5 bouts of diarrhea

Day 21 Sunday, June 29th, 2014

08:00 Woke Up
08:02 Urinated
08:05 Recorded weight. 279.6.
08:18 Took injection
9:14 8 oz Coffee Still having diarrhea today. DOWN 22 POUNDS IN 21 DAYS!!!!!!

2:14 Romaine lettuce 12 oz 60 calories chicken 3 oz 93 calories 153 calories
4:44 Strawberries 11 oz 99 calories total 252 calories

DID NOT MAKE MY GOAL DOWN 22 POUNDS
MISSED BY 3 LBS. SEE WHAT JULY BRINGS!!!!

HALFWAY THERE!!!! MY GOAL IS TO BE DOWN 25 POUNDS!

Day 22 Monday, June 30th, 2014

06:40 Woke Up
06:43 Urinated
07:31 Recorded weight. 279.2.
08:18 Took injection
10:00 Apple 1
12:00 Apple 2
2:00 Apple 3
6:30 Apple 4

Again did not get in all 6 apples.

On to July!!!

Journey To Freedom?

Monday, June 30, 2014

My Starting Weight Pictures

Friday, June 20, 2014

June A New Beginning